Gay in the City (Starting Over)

So as my relationship started to grow it has come to an end. Unfortunately, Michael and I are no longer seeing each other. There are many factors as to why our relationship did not survive but the reasons are not the focus of what I have to do now. I waited 4 years to open up my mind and heart to the possiblity of love. I took a chance because it felt right and I have learned so much about myself and Michael in the past 3 months and I am greatful for that. He is an amazing person and I have nothing but respect for him. At this moment we both want to remain in each other's lives, we are going to try to establish a friendship together. God places people in our lives for a reason and we are trying to discover what that reason is for each other.

For those of you that met him, please know if you see him again show him some love. He really is a great guy that praised my friendships and constantly told me how lucky I was to have all of my friends. He was quite touched that all of you made him feel that he belonged and he thanks everyone for that gift.

Having said all that I am a bit frightened to go back out into the dating world. I feel at times that I tried it and it didnt work so I'm done. Another part of me feels that I have come such a long way, why I am stopping now? I feel a bit of confusion and sadness for the loss of the relatinship. It does make you unvoluntarily question yourself worth and your purpose. I am alot stronger than I was 5 years ago and hopefully handeling things much differently. I don't want to stay out of the dating world for another 4 years but I know I'm not ready at this point. The question now becomes, when do you know you're ready to start over?