Monday, March 24, 2008

Gay in the City ( I vs WE)

Relationships are complicated and they're also somewhat of unfamiliar territory for me. All I knew was being single and available. I use to make plans for the weekend ahead of schedule but I also was always spontaneous and free to go anywhere.

Now that I'm in a relationship, I find the "I vs We" factor challenging. "I vs We" is when someone wants to hang out with you or invites you to a party, you naturally say "I'll go!" or "I'm free!" instead of saying, "I have to check with my boyfriend to see if we have plans." It's only natural that after being single for so long, you answer for yourself but now there's two.

I was invited to the Human First Gala on April 12, 2008 by the director of ALMA. I immediately checked my blackberry and said sure I'll go! The Executive Director of ALMA looked at me and said, "Sweetie, don't you want to check with your boyfriend first?" I told him that it shouldn't be a problem. But he encouraged me to check first. So I did, just as I thought it wasn't a problem.

Even though it wasn't a problem, I need to remember that I have a boyfriend and I have to be considerate of him or even us, by checking in first. If I was quick to check in with my blackberry, then I should be quicker to check in with my boyfriend. My blackberry stores my schedule but my boyfriend shares it.

That is the challenging part for me but as time goes by, I'm sure I'll get better.

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